who am i kidding?!

i love this guy, theres no way past it. and theres no way i can keep this casual. last week prooved that to me.

but im addicted to him, and this is the only way to keep seeing him. to bad it hurts, every single time. truly like a drug.

I just dont get it. Why?! He's no where near the perfekt guy, no where near who i always thought i wanted - and yet, there is noone better for me. we just fit, we just click. But why oh why oh why cant he see that?

life sucks.

i feel so stupid....