let's have fun, you say
nothing wrong with having fun.
you push my hair back
so softly
how about this? you say
you twirl me.
we twirl.
BANG! i fall.
you're mindblowing.
take a risk, you say
screw me?
screw you!
i'm just messing about,
you say, playing.
yes, you're playing
playing russian roulette with my heart...
no risk, no fun.
no risk...?
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edit:
im not so sure about the end... iv never written a poem like that. so far, my poems have always rhymed, but when i started to write it that way, it felt kinda childish
so im interested in (nice, as in friendly and non-insulting) criticisms!
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Hm, maybe it's exactly because it's not rhyming that it sounds so spontaneous and real. The cycling of words and feelings reminds me of a roulette. It's a really strong feeling that you are writing about, one of those which leave you dazzled and weightless, and without a anchor. A really nice, honest poem :)
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